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After a long and difficult year, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. With over 60% of the U.S. population having received at least one dose of the COVID-19 vaccine, things are looking up. COVID restrictions are being lifted, businesses are reopening, and children are returning to school. Though we have much to be thankful for, the scars left behind by a dark and challenging year won’t soon fade.

The COVID-19 pandemic has changed the state of the American public education system in deep and sometimes disturbing ways. Existing disparities between affluent children and low-income students have grown and it may take years of hard work and massive change to overcome them. What many educators are focusing on now as the world starts to return to normal isn’t catching students up on lost education in core subjects like math and science – it’s helping them cope with the stress of a year-long pandemic.

Millions of children around the globe have suffered from a year of isolation from friends and sporadic education. In this article, we’ll explore the subject of pandemic-related stress and provide helpful tips for parents and educators to support their children in the upcoming school year.

Traumatic Stress Caused by the COVID-19 Pandemic

Adam D. Brown, PsyD, a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Longone discusses the notion of and how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected millions of children in some very negative ways. A traumatic event, Dr. Brown explains, is typically a situation out of our control that cause us to feel our lives – or the lives of others – may be in danger. Specifically in relation to childhood trauma, a traumatic event can be an upsetting, overwhelming, or frightening experience that challenge’s a child’s coping abilities.

According to Dr. Brown, the COVID-19 pandemic qualifies as a traumatic event given the fact that it is an unusual and unexpected event that understandably caused worry, stress, and even panic. Many children have had family members get sick or die, not to mention seeing frightening news on TV. How traumatic the pandemic is for a child depends largely on the reaction of caregivers. If a child’s caregivers are calm and reassured, the child may have a more positive reaction than if the caregivers are worried and panicked themselves.

Some degree of worry is to be expected, but there are certain signs that indicated traumatic stress, especially as opposed to post-traumatic stress. In many cases, stressors are ongoing. A child’s reaction to traumatic stress varies by the child’s age and developmental level as well as their degree of social support and their own coping skills.

Here are some signs of traumatic stress, particularly in children 10 and younger:

• Unwanted thoughts and images. The child may experience repetitive images or thoughts and have an increase in nightmares. The child may write, draw, or talk about the event often.
• Negative feelings. The child may struggle with negative feelings such as hopelessness, irritability, sadness, or anger. Some may become overwhelmed by these feelings and react inappropriately to them.
• Avoidance or attention issues. If the child can’t avoid the things that remind them of their stress, they may become agitated or distressed. Some children have trouble focusing on schoolwork and other activities.
• Symptoms of reactivity. Some children will startle more easily or experience an increase in headaches, stomachaches, and other physical complaints. They may also have trouble falling or staying asleep or have a change in appetite.

Every child will respond to stress differently, so it’s important for parents to be vigilant and to pay attention to changes in behavior. If your child’s symptoms persist for more than a few weeks, it may be wise to seek professional help from an adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist.

How Can Parents Help Their Child Cope with Stress?

In times of stress, children often revert to behaviors from their childhood. Children who are potty-trained may suddenly start wetting the bed and children who are normally very independent may become clingy, following their parents around the house. Mary Alvord, a child psychologist who studies trauma and resilience, suggests parents be on the lookout for behavioral changes that affect the child’s day-to-day function. If the child exhibits major changes in day-to-day function, it’s best to consult a therapist but, otherwise, parents can try a few things on their own.

Here are some ways parents can help children cope with stress:

• Model calm behavior. Children pick up on their parents’ emotions, especially when it comes to stress. They may not understand what’s happening, but they can feel the tension and it may start to affect them. Parents can model calm behavior and take time to relieve their own stress to make the home a more placid place.
• Create stress-free spaces. Create a place in the home where your child can go when they start to feel stressed. It could be a blanket fort, a corner of their room, or even just a comfy chair. Encourage your child to spend some time in this space when they are feeling stressed.
• Keep doing what works. Even as your child develops worrisome behavior, you can focus on the things that are working and provide affirmation. When your child voices their distress, say something like, “You were very upset, but you stayed calm, and we talked about it” to teach your child to assert himself.
• Engage your child in open conversation. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your child is give him an opportunity to talk out his feelings. Give your child your full attention and encourage them to speak openly. Respond with honesty and affirm your child’s feelings.
• Provide opportunities for interaction. Children need to spend time with others their own age, though that can be challenging at the moment. Set up video playdates or have an outdoor get together with another family where you can stay distanced but still interact.
• Support your child’s hobbies. There’s a lot happening right now that is out of our control which can make children feel stressed. Encourage your child to engage in activities they enjoy to give them a sense of control.

In addition to taking these steps to help your child cope with their stress, think about ways to help your child form a positive view of the future. Talk about the good things that are happening with the vaccine and celebrate forward motion together as a family, so your child sees more than just the bad things.

Tips for Dealing with Negative Behavior

We’ve all been anxious and worried over the past year. Even as things are starting to look up, things may not be returning to normal quite as quickly as your child might like. After a year of stress, many children struggle to give voice to their emotions and may exhibit negative behaviors. As a parent, it’s important to teach your children discipline but some methods are more constructive than others.

Here are some tips for helping your child manage their emotions and behavior:

• Reinforce good behavior. It’s easy to focus on the bad behaviors and take the good for granted, but part of helping your child manage their emotions and behavior involves recognizing the good behavior. Praise your child when they show good discipline and help them out by setting clear expectations when appropriate.
• Redirect bad behavior. Rather than punishing your child for acting out, take a moment to think about where the behavior is coming from and then redirect it. If your child is acting out, find something else for them to do that’s more constructive.
• Be generous with rewards. Stress is at an all-time high, so you may need to resort to things you wouldn’t normally do. Reinforce good behavior with rewards and privileges you might not normally give out – something special that will truly motivate your child to manage their behavior better.
• Know when to keep quiet. Sometimes the best thing you can do is not give your child the attention he’s seeking when exhibiting bad behavior. As long as your child isn’t in danger, simply ignoring bad behavior can sometimes be an effective tactic for stopping it.
• Make use of time-outs. Time-out can be a very effective form of discipline, especially for younger children. Be sure to explain what your child did that earned them the time-out – keep emotions out of the equation and keep it simple – then keep them in time-out for a specific amount of time. Go for about 1 minute per year of age.

As stressed an anxious as you may be yourself, it’s important to never take your own